Patient: Hamato Raphael
by icefirestorm
Summary: What if there was a reason Raph was always so mad?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer, I own nothing. Happy?**

**Just a start of something. I always thought Raph got off too easy when he tried to bean Mikey with the pipe.**

**PS First fic. Constructive criticism welcome, flames will be doused.**

Raph came back to himself with a start. He had tried to hit Mikey. Nothing new, but with a pipe? In a rage? What was wrong with him? The looks on his family's faces told him they were wondering the same thing.

"Raphael! Stop! What are you doing? Would you harm your brother?!" called Splinter. An unusual mix of anger and disbelief in his voice. "Clearly our efforts to control your anger have not been enough!"

Raphael lowered his head in shame and sank to the ground. He wanted to answer his father, but how could he when he didn't even know the answer himself. "I'm sorry Sensai, an' Mikey I just….I don' know."

Splinter's ears laid back further and his whiskers quivered. "That is not good enough Raphael. These bursts of temper have damaged our home, disrupted our peace within it, risked exposure to the humans and now, you could have seriously harmed one of your brothers! This must stop Raphael!" A quiet "Father" from Leo gave Splinter pause then. He followed Leo's eyes to Raph's downward turned face, and too his astonishment, silent tears ran down his second son's cheeks. Usually admonishment resulted in brooding or grumbling, but now, genuine sorrow and confusion clouded his son's eyes. Splinter tempered his tone, "My son, it is clear you do not wish for this any more than we do. Please, tell us what is wrong so that your family may help you overcome this trial."

But all Raph could do was shake his head. "I really don't know Sensai. You're right that I don' wan' this. I'm so sorry. It just comes over me. I've tried the meditatin' like ya said Master. I've tried workin' out more to get it outta my systm'. And when it gets too much I go to the surface to take it out on the crooks so's I don' hurt you guys but….. I just can'….." Words failed him then and he just sat. Shaking his head.

Don and Mikey traded concerned looks from where they sat after Donnie had looked Mike over. "Aw Raphie," Mikey said "I'm sorry man. I know I don't help. I promise I'll lay off ok?" His earnest voice brought a slight smile to Raph's face. "That's jus' the thing little bro. Teasin' is part of who yah are, and yeah sometimes you get a little overboard, but…. Yah should be able to tease and prank and joke withou' worrin' about your own bro takin' a pipe to yer skull."

Leo had watched all this with a thoughtful look on his face. "I wonder," he began, and the family looked over. "I wonder if maybe this isn't just a matter of a personality flaw."

"Explain please my son." Requested Splinter and Raph turned a confused and slightly hopeful face to his older brother.

"Well, we all have flaws to work on, and Raph has. I've seen the effort he's put into controlling his temper. And I have to apologize to as I haven't always been helpful with that." He added with a rueful grin. "But I wonder if maybe there's a physical reason. Maybe Donnie, can you think of anything that might cause uncontrollable temper?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Forgotten the first one already have we?**

**I realize that this is not strictly medically accurate, but we're dealing with bipedal mutant turtles that learned ninjitsu from a bipedal mutant rat that learned it from watching a dude BEFORE he mutated. I don't think it's asking too much to suspend disbelief a bit.**

The brothers had always feared being caught by scientists. The tests and ultimate fate they would face in such a situation were a huge part of it, but also being seen as nothing but subjects. The, for lack of a better word, dehumanizing nature of being studied and poked for the sake of satisfying another's curiosity and nothing more; that held a certain terror all its own. And Raph was getting a free preview, all at the hands of his younger brother. Fortunately he wasn't the only one subject to Don's tender mercies, as his other brothers were being examined too in the interest of having "comparative data".

"It's not like there's established norms for mutant turtles," Don had argued. "If I'm going to discover anything wrong with Raph I need to be able to compare the results I get from him with results from the rest of us."

The tests ranged from the embarrassing to the painful to the just plain ludicrous.

"Seriously Donnie," complained Leo of all turtles, "What can you possibly learn from testing our response to TICKLING that would explain Raph's temper?!"

"Well, y'know…. Okay nothing." Donatello finally admitted. "But I can so rarely get any of you to agree to testing or exams that I just couldn't pass up the chance." He sheepishly smiled at his brothers and they stared at him with mouths wide open.

Mikey was the first to recover. "And why dear genius brother of mine aren't you contributing to this wealth of knowledge?" Mikey didn't often break out the big words, but he found they were excellent for sarcasm. And between comics and Don himself, Mike had quite the collection, even if he didn't necessarily understand all of them perfectly.

"Because, oh whiney one, I've already collected all this data from myself earlier. Since none of you were willing, there was only one way to satisfy my curiousity. Raph! I told you not to move, you've had a lumbar puncture and you need to keep still for awhile after. And remember all three of you keep those puncture sites dry until the shells heal back over them."

"I still can't believe we let you do that. Isn't it a bit dangerous to drill a hole in a turtle's shell?" asked Leo from his cot as he reached back to feel the patch on his shell.

"Normally yes," replied Donnatello as he prepared a device in the corner. "But Leatherhead and I were able to scavenge some equipment from TCRI satellite sites after the Utroms left and with a laser drill to make the smallest hole possible and some nanites to force shell growth, the risks are minimal."

Michelangelo lifted his head from the labs hospital bed. "Cool, scifi med tech. Um Donnie, is that for the next test?"

"Why yes Mikey it is."

"And what test would that be."

"An endoscopy, specifically a colonoscopy."

"Doesn't that go up…"

"The anus yes."

Turtles have never moved so fast.

"Guys? Guys get back here!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I'm not doing this again.**

**Remember reviews are love.**

The next day saw three very sore turtles kneeling in front of their father in the dojo, and six eyes glaring at one very nervous brother.

"C'mon guys, maybe not all of those tests were pertinent to figuring out Raph's problem but the information might be crucial in the future!" Don inched further away as he plead his case.

"I agree Donatello," the rat began "I would have very much liked to know what is normal and necessary for you four in the past when you have been sick or injured. However, some restraint and discretion may be called for in such matters my son."

Donatello took the remonstration with a shy smile and a nod. His brothers too saw the value in greater knowledge of their medical needs, but there are some things that one just doesn't want their brother to know, resident doctor or not.

However, Donatello won some points back when he pointed out "Master, I think it might be advisable to cancel practice today. A few of yesterday's procedures were uncomfortable and even painful. Some more recovery time may be in order."

Even Leonardo looked hopefully at Splinter, hoping for a reprieve. The last thing one wanted to do after having samples taken of, well, everything; and having instruments put in places nothing was meant to go, was to perform demanding katas and stretches.

At the pleading eyes and unconscious shifting to ease sore muscles, shells and bottoms; Splinter could only smile and relent. "Very well my sons. Take the day off with orders to engage in no strenuous activity. Rest and recover." Leo, Raph and Mikey eagerly rose and headed for the living room with its plush couches and chairs.

"Donatello?"

"Yes Sensei?"

"Have you yet gleaned any answers from the information you gathered yesterday?" Splinter enquired as he guided his olive son to the door.

"Not really. I've been able to eliminate some things, and I have one or two ideas that I think are most likely, but there are still several possibilities I want to rule out first."

The elderly rat stopped, and leaned on his walking stick as he thought this over. He wanted to know what was wrong with his son, and he wanted to know if it was something they could do help him and put his mind at ease. However, he didn't want to pressure Donatello into rushing conclusions and potentially making a serious mistake.

"Very well my son. Continue with your research, and if there is anything you require, make it known."

Donnie smiled and dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Thankyou Father. I will. Actually, all I need right now is some quiet, coffee and time to keep working."

"Then that is what you shall have."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: What did I say?**

**I think I was a little eager yesterday. I'll try to do fewer, longer posts.**

Raph was doing his level best not to twitch.

But it was bloody hard. First, Mikey had found some ridiculous "reality" show that bore absolutely no resemblance to reality. Unfortunately Leo had gone off to meditate on the softest cushion he could find, so no help there, and Raph was still feeling guilty enough about yesterday's incident that he couldn't even try to convince his baby brother to change the channel.

Then there was the reason they were out here watching TV when they would usually be training. He hurt. A lot. The emerald turtle was starting to believe Donatello was a little more manic than any of them had thought before. The zeal he'd shown taking chunks out of his brothers for study was a bit disturbing. And all those places, careful as Donnie had been, were aching. Not to mention the tiny hole in his shell and the very strange sensation coming from his backside. Don had better hide that endo-thingy of his or Raph would hide it for him, somewhere under Donnie's own shell.

Then there was the uneasiness inside. His turmoil had a few causes he could pinpoint. The aforementioned guilt was a no brainer. The irritation with everyone and everything was always present, but tempered at the moment by, again, the guilt. But in front of all that, though Raph was loathe to admit it, was fear. _Don't get me wrong, I want to know what's goin' on. Why I'm so mad all the time. But what if it's sumthin' really bad? What if it's sumthin' that can't be fixed? What then?_ He wanted so badly for it to be over. For Don to walk out with an answer. This waiting was tearing him up inside and his usual "safe" means of venting weren't available due to the ban on "strenuous activity." Maybe…

"Hey Mikey?" The orange banded turtle turned to his older brother. "Yeah Raph?"

"Do you wanna play a game or sumthin'?" he asked uncertainly.

Mickey brightened at the thought. "Yeah, yeah Raph I'd really like that bro. It's been too long." Then his eyes widened with a thought and he tore off to his room calling, "Oooo, ooooo. I've still got munchkin. It's been forever!"

Raph sat up and looked over the couch upstairs. "Munchkin? With only two people? Mikey that won' really work all that well."

His baby brother stopped at the top level and looked down with baleful eyes. "But Raph… It's been foreeeeveeeeeer."

Between the eyes and the guilt, ah the guilt, Raph didn't stand a chance. And he knew it. Worse, Mikey knew it. "Aw alright. But see if Leo wan's to play while you're up there." May as well drag big brother into this too.

"Sure! Sounds great!" the sea green turtle chirped and made a bee line to the closed door at the end of the hall. **Bang! Bang! Bang!** "Leo! LEO! Come play with us! LEEEEEOOOO!"

Raph sat back with a smile. _Mission accomplished._ Oh, Cake Boss was on.

Donatello was starting to feel like he was living in an episode of House M.D. He had a list of the differences in test results between Raphael and the rest of them as well as a list of the possible causes of the variations, and after nearly an entire day of research he felt confident he'd found the answer. But what an answer. _How am I supposed to tell Raph? I see what to do but….how could he ever agree to this?_

"Donnie! Dinner's ready! C'mon Leo, Raph and Sensei are waiting!"

_And can I put this off until after dinner? Because there's no way any of us are going to want to eat after this_

_._

Leo watched Donnie sit down and knew something was up. But he also knew that Donnie did everything for a reason and would tell them when he thought it was the right time. So the young leader focused on his dinner and tried to keep the conversation light.

"This lasagne is great Mikey thanks." And it was. Leo's baby brother certainly had a knack in the kitchen, at least when he stayed away from the more "esoteric" ingredients.

"Thanks Leo, and remember, you lost munchkin so you gotta do the dishes." There was an unnecessary amount of glee in those blue eyes. "Yes Mikey I know." Leo was resigned at the pile of dishes he could see in the sink. Why did the tasty dishes always make such a mess. _Wait a minute…_ "Mikey are those dishes from your room?"

Not so innocent eyes slid to the side. "Maayybeee."

"Mikey!"

"I know, but they were piling up, and when you lost the bet, well it seemed perfect."

"No game of munchkin is worth cleaning up your mold farms Mikey."

"But!"

"Michaelangelo. I do not believe the extra dishes are in the spirit of the wager. You will help your brother."

Sigh. "Yes Sensei."

"And Leonardo will dry and put away."

"Aww man."

Raph watched the byplay with a smirk, but it slid off his face when he turned to Donnie and saw his pensive look._ He's either constipated, not found the answers he was lookin' for, or he has figured it out and dosn' like what he's got. _That last thought had him regretting all the garlic bread he'd eaten as his stomach began to roil. _Aw heck. Let's just get this over with._ "So Donnie, all that stuff you did tah us paid off yet?"

Everyone's attention was now drawn to the turtle that didn't want it.

"Um, well.." he sighed deeply. "Yeah Raph, I think so. Why don't you and I go to my lab and I'll tell you." The purple masked turtle started to get up from the table when, "Why we gotta go to the lab? Why can't you tell me in front of them?" _Dang._ "Well, I thought you'd like me to tell you in private, some things are personal after all."

"Dude, we all know about the time Leo got his tail stuck you-know-where." Mikey ducked Leo's swipe, "How much more personal can you get?"

As Don started to look even more uncomfortable, his blue eyed brother's wild imagination started taking off. "Oh crap. It's something bad isn't it? Raph's like really sick? Is he gonna die?! How long does he have?" Each question progressively working the family up more, especially the turtle of the hour.

_What if sumthin' is wrong? _"C'mon Donnie jus' spit it out already."

"Raph I don't really think.."

"It's about me an' I wanna know. Now!" the table shook as Raph slammed down his fist.

_Gee, thanks a lot Mikey you little goob._ The olive turtle sat back down. _Ok Raph, you asked for it._

"If you insist. There was one thing wildly different in Raph from the rest of us. As you know while being similar to humans in many ways we are still very much turtles and therefore subject to certain animal instincts. We all figured out a long time ago that essentially Leo and Raph are alpha males while Mikey and I are betas." _Kay, nodding heads, still with me._

"So when I tested our testosterone levels, the male hormones, it wasn't surprising that Leo had much more in his system than us two." He gestured to himself and his little brother. "What did surprise me is that Raph had nearly double the amount of testosterone in his system than Leo."

"So Raph's like ultra macho. No surprise there Donnie."

"Yes Mikey I know, but it's more than that. It does help explain why Raph is well, a tank. But it also helps with the temper. Do you remember when we were kids? Raph was always very passionate, and a risk taker, but the nasty temper didn't really surface until we hit puberty. When the body starts producing more sex hormones. Raph's testosterone levels skyrocketed, and with them his rage. Studies have shown that human males with high testosterone levels tend to be more aggressive and prone to risk related injury than average. Couple that with Raph's ridiculously high levels and possible side effects from our mutation and you get a very unstable turtle."

Everyone sort of sat back to absorb what they'd heard. _So there is a reason. I'm not just a nut job._ Raph let that thought percolate through his brain for a bit. But his relief didn't last too long. "So's there anythin' you can do about it Don?" _Uh oh._

Donatello suddenly had the look of a very uncomfortable turtle. "Well, obviously, the key to this would be to lower the amount of testosterone in Raph's system. Unfortunately there are only so many ways to do that. The least invasive require herbs or drugs, but as you know getting a steady supply of such things can be problematic for us. And then there's the fact that the herbs are not as "proven" as I would like and there are definite issues with side effects from the drugs. The safest and most reliable ways would be to surgically remove the body's largest production source of the hormone."

It took Leo and Splinter only a second to figure that out. The way they identically cringed was almost comical. Raph got it a moment later.

"No way! Nuh uh! You are not neuterin' me!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: sigh**

**NinjaWolf10: Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it! Raph's last line in the previous chap is actually what started all this. Lol**

Donatello was content. His head was still on his shoulders. In his rage Raph had left the lair, so Don's head was likely to remain on his shoulders for the foreseeable future. The others had been so embarrassed by the subject at hand that he had avoided the usual interrogation induced migraine that would have made Don wish to remove his own head from his shoulders. _All_ _in all, it had gone pretty well._ They would need a new kitchen table, and a couple chairs, and a door; and Raph would likely require some first aid when he returned home. But all things considered, it really had gone pretty well. And if Don felt the need to lock his lab door and monitor the security feeds, that was just good sense.

So there was absolutely no reason for him to jump out of his chair when someone knocked on the door.

"Donnie, can we talk?"

The olive turtle sighed as his heart rate returned to normal. One check of the video feeds and, "Sure Mike, just a sec." He got up and let his little brother into the lab. "So, any point in asking what this is about?"

Mikey very nearly slunk into the room. "Yeah. Um, I was wondering, are we sure this isn't something that will just go away on its own? I mean, for Raph's sake, if we could all just wait it out and be a little more patient with the guy a while longer…. We could do that, couldn't we?"

Once again Don was reminded that underneath the goofy jokes, his baby brother had a true heart of gold. Even after being attacked, his main concern was the wellbeing of the brother who attacked him.

"Well, testosterone levels tend to drop a bit later in life but generally only after thirty, and then it's so little that given how much Raph has, I don't really think it would make a difference. It was a nice thought Mikey, but I'm afraid this won't just fix itself." He hated to see his brother looking so lost, "Why don't we sit down and I'll answer as many questions as you need to get a handle on this. It may not be so bad as you think."

"Ok Don, thanks."

The pain was finally filtering through. The previous aches and pains were blending with new injuries and Raph welcomed it. The anger had passed awhile ago as he introduced the last purple dragon he'd encountered to the wonders of unconsciousness. There had been nothing to take it's place though. He'd been left completely numb, and while he was in a rare state of complete control, the emerald turtle had decided to make the most of it. He'd gone to April's and though she had been gone, the brothers were always welcome to seek refuge in her home. Raph had let himself in, and after availing himself of the first aid kit, some chips and beer, he'd settled down in front of her computer to do something he hadn't done in quite some time. Research. He'd looked up testosterone, it effects, and ways to lower it, though there was much more about increasing it, and some very diverting websites had nearly drawn his attention away, Raphael had persevered. Now as he sat on the roof, and let his mind drift to better absorb what he'd learned, the crimson ninja believed he had a better handle on what was going on, as well as what his immediate younger brother had suggested."

But still, he didn't want to do it._ It's not fair, I'm not enough of a freak as it is? I gotta be the one freak that gets neutered?_ A whisper of sound caught his ears and he nearly reacted badly until a sense of the familiar brushed his awareness. "Whadda yah want Fearless? Yah can't passably think I wanna talk right now."

"No I don't, and I don't expect you too. But I thought you might not necessarily want to be alone either."

So the brothers sat, side by side in the dark and took comfort from being together.

"It feels wrong Leo." The young leader looked sideways at his brother. "I mean, I looked inta it all but, who will I be after, and to give up that. I mean it's part of me, I know it seems petty, but it's a big part of who I am. I'm a guy and it just… yah know."

"I know Raph I know. I looked online too, but what you and I can find doesn't hold a candle to what Donnie can dig up, let alone what he can comprehend. I know he was helping Mikey to understand this situation better. Why don't we go home, warm up and sleep on this. Then in the morning when you're refreshed and had a chance to recover a bit from the shock of it, you can talk to him about all the options as well as their pros and cons."

Raph bobbed his great head up and down. "Yeah, yeah. I can do that. Do you think … that tea Splinter used to make, when we were worked up or scared as kids, do you know howta make that Leo?"

"Sure I do Raph, how do you think I'm still sane?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: …**

**Sorry for the delay, just planning my next move. Also, I realise that the chronology of this doesn't entirely match with the show, but its bad enough they're going to be preforming meatball surgery on Raph's junk in the sewer, I'd shudder to think of them doing this with only the junkyard tech they had in the newly established Lair. Please enjoy! **

As Raph walked into his younger brother's lab the next morning, he kept having to shake his head to clear the remnants of last night's very disturbing dreams. Images of pink bandannas, yoga and "girl time" with April had occupied his sleep. He knew he would still be male if he went through with this but….. there were doubts about how much. Would he remain the tough turtle he was used to being? Would he lose some of his drive? These questions lingered, and were the only thing holding him back, though only just. The memory of Mike, cringing on the floor with fear in his eyes, and imaginings of his other brothers in the same position, maybe even April? Amber eyes were haunted as he shut the door behind himself.

"Hey Donnie." Things crashed as the young genius jolted in his chair.

"H-Hey Raph… um how are you feeling? Enjoy your run last night? I-I heard it was nice out..."

"Whoa Donnie easy," Raphael tried to soothe his panicked brother. "It s'all good. I've had time tah cool off. Sorry, I wen off on yah bro."

Donatello sighed deeply and visibly relaxed. "It's ok Raph. I don't imagine there is anyone that would take that kind of news well."

"Yah, um. I'm thinkn', now that I've hadda chance tah think abou' things. Maybe if we just talk the two o' us, like doctah an' patient, then I can handle it."

"Ok, have a seat." The olive turtle gestured to the desk chair behind his brother, sipping his morning brew and taking a moment to order his thoughts, pull up the research he had done, and prepare for the questions he knew were coming his way.

"Alrigh' I did some research last nigh', don' choke on yah coffee Genius. An' so I get that this, hmm, 'procedure' is the bes' option for us on accoun' o' us not bein' able to rely on getting' the drugs an' stuff on a regular basis."

The younger turtle nodded, "Yes, maintaining a steady supply of anything would be a problem, and having you on and off and on and off again the meds would be an even worse emotional yo-yo than you're having to deal with now. Not to mention that many of the more reliable medications aren't recommend for use over a couple of years due to side effects, and frankly the 'natural' options, probably just aren't potent enough to work for you." He snickered a little, "You're just too 'manly' for them"

But his small joke didn't get the reaction he'd hoped for. Raphael looked down at his hands folded in his lap, and seemed to curl inside himself a little. Donatello became concerned. "Raph?"

The turtle in question glanced up and cleared his throat a bit. "Yeah, that's somthin' I wanted tah ask yah abou'. Um, other than the anger, will this change me? My personality I mean. I'm nou' sure thah, well." He puffed out a breath and looked into warm brown eyes. "Be straigh' with me Don, will I still be me?"

Don's face softened and he reached out to put a comforting hand on his brother's knee. "Oh Raphie. You'll still be you. We're not operating on your brain, just reducing how much testosterone it's swimming in. Remember when I explained how puberty changed your temperament? As I said then, when we were kids you were passionate and driven. Nothing could hold you back, and it was clear that you cared so much for all of us. The only thing that the hormones did was make it so you couldn't control your temper. How you were before? That was you. The real you. And when you can control your anger again, you'll be able to just be you, without this rage clouding your mind."

All the tension in Raphael seemed to flow out of him with his sigh of relief. To just be himself again, not the uncontrollable hot head. To be able to pursue the activities he enjoyed and be in the company of those he loved without having to worry about keeping himself on a constant leash? It seemed like a dream come true.

"Thanks Don. Honestly? That was all I was really concerned abou', an' even if it hadda been different, I probably woulda' gone thru with it anyhow. I don' wanna hurt you guys, an' odds were that one o' these days I was gonna really do some serious damage tah Leo or Mike."

"Glad to help Raph. That's not the only reason I hoped that you would agree to this though. Being so aggressive all the time? That also means your blood pressure is high. Now at your age that isn't really a problem, but as you get older? It would put you at a higher risk for heart attack and stroke. Also, though it doesn't cause cancer, high testosterone can make it progress faster when it does occur. So even if it weren't for the emotional effects, and what it does to your relationships, this poses a very real risk to your health, and on that basis alone I would recommend it." He dipped his head, and smiled up at his big brother, "I want to keep you around as long as possible bro."

Raphael may have been a stern turtle of few words, but he had a tender heart at his core, and the clear concern and love in those intelligent chocolate eyes warmed him inside. _Afta all the crap I've given him, the grief and worry… I don' deserve yah Don._

"So, um, wha's the plan then?"

_Moment over then._ Donatello shifted in his chair and prepared to enter the waters of "That Which Isn't Discussed".

"Well, in human men this would actually be really simple. Day surgery probably and then sent home with pain killers. However, as you are so fond of saying, turtle luck strikes again. First complication, we arent' mammals. In humans, the, ah, 'stuff', is easily accessible outside the body because they are warm blooded. As cold-blooded reptiles though, we don't… we…aw heck, we don't have balls."

Both turtles flushed a little.

"Screw it. Out testes are inside so it will require abdominal surgery. To further complicate the matter our shells get in the way and we can't really access from the side either with our bridges and hips so.,, sorry Raph but it will have to be from below."

Amber eyes got very wide at that. _Jus' when I was startin' tah feel bettah abou' all this._

"I'll make the smallest incisions I can using the Utrom tech, which will help. But you'll be sore in a very weird place for awhile. So no training of any kind for at least a couple weeks, though I doubt you'll be interested in moving. Also you'll have to be extremely careful to keep the site clean, if you catch my drift."

_Oh, how I wish I didn't._

"I'm not sure how long it will take your testosterone levels to find their new norm, so I'll need to take regular blood tests to see how it's going. But once it's done? You should be golden."

Raphael made a small attempt to find some humour. "Well, at least it's not somethin' I was ever gonna be able tah use."

Don snorted outright. "Tell me about it. Even if we were lucky enough to find someone, the chances of being genetically compatible? I don't even want to try to calculate those long odds."

"So um, when're we gonna do this thing?"

"I need some time to prepare and, ah, practice on simulations. I would also like to make more detailed scans of the, ahem, 'area'. Our anatomy is always a strange combination of turtle and human so I'd like to get a better look at where everything is. I don't think either of us want me going in blind."

"No kiddin' brainiac."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Why!? Why do you torture me with thoughts of ownership?!**

**Bookworm1978 – Thanks! It's always a concern when playing with someone else's toys that you get it right.**

**Catgirl – Firstly, glad you're enjoying this product of my warped mind. Secondly, I think I've addressed the kids issue now, hope the explanation was to your satisfaction. Thirdly, making love? Just because you're shooting blanks doesn't mean you can't fire the gun. Pain? Well this is hurt/comfort is it not? ;P**

**My dear Beetlejuice2000 – I will answer each of your comments in order. Wanna bet? And, thankyou! Lol**

**Jules – No one and nothing can save Raph from me. The disclaimer sees to that. (que maniacal laughter)**

The next two weeks were torture. Donatello was holed up in his lab nearly 24/7 first researching how such procedures were performed on reptiles, then studying the scans he had taken of Raphael's abdomen, and finally, practicing on unwilling members of the local wildlife. That one had been hard to float with Mikey once he'd found out, but his brother's welfare had ultimately won over old animals that already most likely had several sets of offspring to their name.

Raphael watch all this with mixed emotions. On one hand, the lengthy prep work reassured him of success. On the other, it gave him more time to stew._ I really jus' wanna get this over with._ Combined with how his family was tip toeing around him, Raph had been driven to the surface to blow off steam more than once. Fortunately, Casey was unaware of recent developments, which gave the nervous terrapin a very welcome dose of normalcy. However, Casey wasn't a complete idiot and it was only a matter of time before he realized that something more than the usual tension was motivating Raph's almost frenzied crime fighting streak. Not to mention, Raph was running out of crooks to take his frustrations out on as many of them had started hunkering down to avoid the angry red turtle.

To everyone's relief though, the time had come. The surgery would be the following morning and Raphael was fasting in preparation for being put under. His stomach grumbled ominously as he took another sip of water in the hopes that filling up with liquids would soothe his hunger. At least Mikey had taken pity on him and made cold sandwiches for dinner so his famished older brother wouldn't have to contend with the smells of a hot meal on top of everything else. Donatello was making last minute preperations with Leatherhead in the lab while Mikey and Leo had joined their other brother in a round of video games in the hopes of distracting and calming him down. They shouldn't have chosen Mario Kart.

"Aww too bad Raphie. Guess the red shells just love yah bro!"

"Mikey, yah really wan' a last taste of my fist?"

"C'mon guys, it's just a game. Let's calm down and have fun."

"Says the guy in first. Seriously Leo, how?! You never play, how are you so good? What?! NOOOOO!"

Leonardo grinned unrepentantly as the bomb he'd thrown backwards blew his baby brother clear off the course. Mikey didn't know, but the early riser would play while the little brothers were away, in dreamland. There had to be some benefits to not being able to sleep more than five hours at a time.

The emerald turtle just grit his teeth and tried to take advantage of his brother's distraction with a short cut but there wasn't enough track as he squeaked in just behind Leo's blue cart.

"Dang it man! Why do we play this game! Nevah mind, this time Leo, your shell is mine."

"Unfortunately my son, Donatello informs me that he would like you to sleep now so that you may be ready for the procedure in the morning." Splinter regretfully informed Raphael as he wandered into the living area. "I think however that with the necessary bed rest afterwards you will have ample opportunity to prove your worth on the track."

"Oh, uh, yeah I guess Mastah. Well, see youse guys in the mornin' then."

"Night Raph." Corused orange and blue as the red turtle stood and headed upstairs.

"In the meantime, Leonardo, Michaelangelo?"

"Yes Sensei?"

"I believe it is time to show you, 'how it is done'." The old rat picked up a controller and smiled.

"Raph, Raphie?"

Raphael slowly came awake to a gentle hand and a soft voice.

"Donnie?"

"Yeah, Raph. Sorry to wake you but it's time."

"So yah wake me up just tah drug my shell to sleep?"

Don chuckled low, "Well, not quite. There's some prep we have to do. Then we'll drug your shell."

"Ok, ok, I'm up. Whatta we gotta do?"

"Take a really thorough shower, we want everything to be as clean as possible. But first, uh, take this and um wait in the bathroom a second."

Donatello handed Raph a small pill.

"Oookay. What is it?"

"A uh, laxative."

_That explains the stutter._

"Sorry, but there's a risk of certain muscles, ah, relaxing under sedation. And with where we'll be working and all, well, you get it. Not to mention you're not going to want to move for awhile after waking up, so the longer you can put that off, the better."

The pill worked very quickly, much to Raph's discomfort. In short order he was relieved, showered, dried and on the table with a needle in his arm.

"Just relax Raphael and count backwards from 100. When you wake up, this will all be over."

"Kay LH, but hey Donnie?"

The purple banded turtle leaned over his brother and placed a reassuring hand on his arm.

"Yes Raph?"

"Two things. One, this doesn' leave the family."

"Done."

"Two, if I wake up an' I'm singin' soprano? I'll kill yah shell."

Donatello's face froze as he backed up very slowly. He blinked a couple times and shakily nodded to his crocodilian friend.

_Oh yeah Donnie, don' forget who you're dealin' with here. _The then bandana-less turtle focused on Leatherhead's face as he held the oxygen mask over Raph's beak and started counting. It wasn't long before he felt the effects of the anesthetic and then, nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: (rocks in a corner)**

**Miceaholic – It's Splinter. 'Nough said.**

**Furdonkadonk – From laughter or trauma?**

**Neverfaraway – Glad you like it! Hope I don't let you down with the rest. Lol The "ain't neuterin' me" line was really as far as I had planned when I started. Just kinda flying by the seat of my pants now.**

**Sorry for the wait. I really suck at wrapping things up and it took awhile.**

_Déjà vu with a side 'o pain. _The groggy reptile slowly surfaced to a gentle hand on his shoulder and the soft voice of his immediate younger brother.

"Raphie? C'mon Raph, you're getting there. Wake up bro."

"Mmmm" He hummed and tried to force his eyes open. Amber orbs flew wide open on their own when he shifted and lightning lanced through his lower regions.

"Whoa! Whoa Raph, easy. You've gotta hold still. I know it hurts, pain meds and anaesthesia don't mix for us. But now you're awake I can give you the good stuff."

Hands held his arm steady but the fire down below eclipsed any sensation of the needle until blessed relief flooded through his veins.

"Sorry bro, but that's probably going to put you under again. Rest easy, it all went well. We'll be here when you wake up."

And the world slipped away from him again.

The next two weeks were, odd, to say the least. At first Raphael was muted due to the pain and meds he was on. There was a period of time when he barely left his bed and endured a tasty but limited liquid diet prepared and delivered by Michaelangelo. He usually had some family member or another at his side to keep him company even if all they did was read while he took a nap. Casey and April had become suspicious, but true to his word, Donatello merely told them that he had suffered injury while skating in the sewers and needed quiet time to recover. The second week was better, he had healed quickly enough for the stitches to come out and he was free to relax and lounge around the lair as the internal ache slowly subsided.

Only lurking on the edge of their minds though, did it work? As time passed and Raph recovered, Mikey eventually couldn't hold back any more and unleashed one of his most epic pranks to date. The fallout saw Mikey in the traditional headlock, the difference though? A noogie replaced the usual choke hold, and there was a definite gleam of humour in the amber eyes of his older brother. No real anger, no pain, just two brothers horsing around and having some fun at each other's expense.

The little family breathed a sigh of relief. They had their brother back, hale and hearty, if not entirely whole. There was one thing that the terrapin in question was still concerned about, but that was put to rest soon enough.

It had been a month since Raph's surgery, and the brothers were enjoying a late night run patrolling the riverside. It wasn't their first run, but it was the first that they ran into any real trouble. They stumbled upon Purple Dragons finishing up a deal with some smugglers in an old warehouse. As the young ninjas waited in the shadows Leonardo carefully watched, looking for the perfect moment to strike. His attention wasn't entirely on the Dragons though. Out of the corner of his eye he also watched his younger brothers. Donatello was nervous as usual, he fought but didn't enjoy it. Mikey was twitchy and eager to go, but that was normal too. The interesting one was Raph. Usually at this point half of Leonardo's work would be holding Raphael back while trying not to draw any attention that would ruin the element of surprise. This time though was different. The dark emerald of his skin blended with the shadows perfectly, and only his burning eyes stood out in the darkness. No whispered arguments, no jumping out ahead. His muscles were tense but still, a hunter stalking his prey and ready to pounce.

At last the time came, and at the eldest's signal they knocked out the lights and scattered the punks below them like water from a bursting balloon. It went smoothly until Hun lumbered onto the scene drawn from the outside by the cries of his men.

The human behemoth waded in and cast shells left and right. Finally the fight ordered itself with Donnie and Mikey holding back and whittling down the remaining thugs while Leonardo and Raphael faced off against the blond giant.

They flowed, there was no other word. The two alpha turtles had always worked well together in a fight but tonight was different. Hun had always seemed to focus on Leonardo, whether it was because he was leader, or the many times he's taken Hun down in a fight, none of them were sure, but that focus was there now. Hun's mouth had always been as big as the rest of him, the insults, threats and descriptions of what he intended to do to the blue banded turtle flowed freely. Unfortunately he managed to get a grip on Leonardo's ankle and down the leaf green turtle went. Over and over smacked into the floor until Raph distracted his tormenter with the need to divert a sai to the back. Anger ran in Raphael's veins as he stood guard over Leo while he shook off dizziness and stood to fight again, but this was not the uncontrolled rage of battles past. This was a slow burn that filled him with determination, as Leo stood up and even with him, they exchanged and look and moved.

Hun literally didn't know what hit him. All he could see was a blur of red, blue and two shades of green. They flipped and rolled and shifted around him. Always hitting and never being hit. Finally the huge man fell as all four brothers faded into the night, away from the approaching flashing lights of the police.

Raphael had never been so happy. He was in control, he was not a threat to his family, but he was still very much a threat to anything that would threaten them. His fire hadn't been put out, but neither had it consumed him, and now, it never would again.


End file.
